There are no hard and fast rules to hold to. The most natural way to respond to our children is spontaneously, according to time, place and circumstance. By relying on open intelligence, which is the “power to know”, we are clear in what to do and how to act beneficially in each moment. We trust our intelligence. 

Timeouts used as a strategy for controlling my children’s behavior naturally faded out. This does not mean that my children never need space or quiet time; it is just no longer used as a consequence for misbehaving.  

Currently, when my children need to shift their behavior due to hurting themselves, others or their environment, I rely on the skillful means of open intelligence, this vast intelligence, to see what is truly going on, what is needed and then respond accordingly. Have they eaten? Are they tired? Should they not be in this circumstance in the first place? Do they need to be loved up? Do they need a wrathful, direct talk? Coming from a relaxed, yet vital place, we simply know what is going on and what will best support and empower our child. 

Posted by Mia Castle